It’s not as if my entire blog isn’t musings, mostly, but you know. Alliteration is cool.

It was nice to hear how many readers also suffer from the problem of being behind on practically everything. I often feel like I am the only one in my family who can’t get things done properly, and spends too much time daydreaming and reading, but truthfully, it’s probably pretty normal.

I did accomplish the following: folding laundry, running the dishwasher. And I fully unpacked from my night away, which took very little time but was very satisfying.

Granted, that leaves me with a pretty long to-do list, but also, how much of it is important? Or that is, how much of it is important to do this week? I ordered new cat food to try for the cats, some wet food. I haven’t taken it out of the box yet because I’m’ not ready to start dealing with it. The same with a new duffel bag I ordered (way in advance) for a trip in the summer, though I’ll probably use it earlier too. And then there are some clothes I ordered from Old Navy that I need to try on. I’ll have to unload the dishwasher as well. Louie took care of the trash and some yard work last night, lest you think all the house stuff falls on me. If I’m lucky he might empty the dishwasher too, we sort of take turns and whoever is in the kitchen might just empty it.

Work wise, the most pressing thing this week is the student recital on Saturday. I need to make a program order and get some music to the pianist. That needs to be done today or tomorrow, probably.

This is a very boring post, I think? Let’s see, what would be more interesting. Meal planning? I’ve got nothing right now, but that’s also something I should do before getting groceries this week. I’m so tired of cooking and meal planning, honestly. Maybe we will do some grain bowls with veggies and chickpeas. I’ve got some kale in the fridge that I planned with pasta and lemon pesto sauce (a jar from trader joe’s) so that should be Tuesday. Tonight there’s no time to cook or eat, I finish teaching and then straight to a concert, so we will do something afterwards, maybe some ramen from the local international grocery store, and maybe add some eggs to it? In Japan, we had ramen where there was a bowl of raw eggs that you could add to your ramen as you saw fit, as many as you desired.

Maybe this is all boring. Or perhaps it’s just mundane. The mundane day to day that we all deal with. I feel like my brain is just on Monday mode, thinking of the week ahead and how to make it work. So I’ll leave you there today.

I’ve had a very fun but busy weekend. I think the thing that struck me just NOW was that I am not dreading the week. How amazing is that? Maybe it’s not. I mean, I don’t often dread the week, but I had a fun weekend (for once, not only working, hardly any work at all!) and now I’m looking forward to a less busy than normal week, followed by another weekend with some fun stuff.

My friend’s wedding was fabulous, super great. We stayed overnight at the hotel where it took place (about an hour away) and then slept in, got breakfast there, and then did a 6 mile hike at the nearby State Park (Pere Marquette). The weather was phenomenal, truly the best weekend weather we have had here in awhile.

We ate lunch at Old Bakery Beer Company and then came home and I went to see Emily St. John Mandel talk at a nearby library. I can’t remember going to an author talk before, but I really enjoyed it: she was interesting and a really cool person. If you aren’t familiar with her, her most famous book is Station Eleven.

One thing she said that stuck out to me was that nothing is permanent, and that that gives her hope. And that yes, the impermanence of life can be devastating, but also, it’s great that bad things don’t last forever. I have thought of this before as well, that either the bad things will eventually end, or, you know, we will end. I really loved Station Eleven as a very hopeful book: even with all the bad things that happened, people banded together and community and art and music were important. She said that when she talked with a reporter who had spent so much time reporting on wars across the world, that was something that he noticed in real life: people band together, they don’t just end up alone fighting, they form communities to try to survive.

She was also really sweet and kind, and talked about various anti-racism things, like not saying the race of her characters unless it was really important, partly with the thought that, hey, if it doesn’t need to be a white person perhaps a non-white person could be cast in that role if this book becomes a movie or TV show. She mentioned how so often white writers only mention race when it’s a non-white person, because white is the default for them, so she tries NOT to do that. Hey, isn’t it great, I can write about anti-racism again. She also talked about writing while being a mother (thanks to her nanny and babysitters, though perhaps one person in the audience thought that men don’t need to say that, but hey, women are still asked about and men aren’t, so let’s give credit where credit is due, while also asking men how they got to write so much with a new baby), and she talked about various connecting characters throughout her different books.

I have to admit that I haven’t reread any of her books, and I’ve only read Station Eleven, The Glass Hotel, and Sea of Tranquility. I got a signed copy of her most recent book, Exit Music, and I’ll probably read that next, but I should go back and read her earlier works, and then maybe reread the rest, to get a better sense of the overall “Mandel-verse” as one question asker at the event called it.

It’s been a busy time, as I’ve mentioned before, and as a result, a lot of things are piling up. Literally. For instance, I ordered some new cat food to try, some wet food and dry food for sensitive stomaches, but we are gone overnight tonight, so it’s not the time to start, but also I didn’t open the package yet. That package is piling up next to a few other things. I have a donation pile of clothes to give away piling up, I have some things I might pack for the overnight piling up.

So am I referring to just things piling up? Maybe! But no, not really. A week from today is my studio recital and that’s piling up: I need to make a list of students who are playing and scan their music for the pianist. This is a task I often get done ahead of time, more than one week in advance, so waiting is either a sign that I’m completely underwater OR that I’m better at managing my stress? There are other things too, many things, that I need to do, little things for students, that is. New music assignments, reminders for this or that, figuring out what’s next. This is piling up in my brain, and I need to get it out on paper or a google document.

But for now, I’m doing this post (I am sitting down each day to blog in real time and it’s been quite therapeutic) and then teaching exactly ONE makeup lesson, and then doing my hair and packing for the wedding and overnight stay, and then we are off. It’ll be a lot of fun!

There was a time in my life when so many of my friends were getting married, and it seems like every year there were a half dozen wedding invites, some I went to, some I couldn’t due to work or finances. And then it all sort of slowed down and stopped, and the last wedding Louie and I went to was for the daugher of his boss, so we felt like, hmm, we’ve moved into the next generation, now we will go our friend’s kids’ weddings.

Which is why this weekend is so excited, it’s the wedding of two of my friends and I’m so pumped for them! By the way, I want to note that wordpress tells me every time I write that my sentences are long and convuluted, that you people won’t be able to read or understand them. And then I hit “ignore for this post” because I haven’t yet been bothered enough to figure out how to make them stop telling me this ever. We were reading some things yesterday that Lincoln wrote and I’m certain that his speeches and letters would also be marked as too long and convulated, and yet he was considered a great orator.

Not that I see myself as Lincoln, by any means! But that I am going to write how I think, and how I want, and if I were writing for page views and seo I would be way more popular BUT I don’t do this for the money. I mean, good gosh, I’m a musician, do I do anything for the money?

Anyway, so my good friend Stephanie is getting married, and last night there was a little girls only thing, and it was a lot of fun. I met some new people and chatted with people I already knew, and I had a lovely time. One woman asked me if I loved teaching violin, and I said, no, and she looked disappointed, and asked what I would do instead. The answer is: nothing. I am doing the jobs I want: my other thing I would do is NOT work, and instead read and walk and hike, and travel, perhaps 4 trips a year? And putter and write, and get better at crafting and all of that stuff.

I do enjoy teaching, sometimes, and other times I find it invigorating and challenging, and sometimes my students frustrate and annoy me, and other times they make me laugh so hard. But love is a strong word for me. I think many teachers do love teaching, and I don’t. I don’t love playing the violin for weddings either, but it’s something I do because it’s fine, and easy enough, and I know that people enjoy hearing it, and they pay me. I do enjoy some of my concerts, quite a lot, and I enjoy playing the violin, but not enough to practice as regularly as I should or could.

Maybe I’m burnt out, but maybe it’s ALSO ok if even in a creative field, or working with children, we don’t LOVE It, and we just think its good enough, or fun enough, or even that we don’t hate it, so it’s fine. Maybe it’s okay! Life isn’t always amazing or fun, and not every moment of every day can be spent doing something you absolute adore, can it? Am I delusional? Is it okay just to like your career and not to love it? To feel that you do it well?

What a night! It was a long day. I taught a few students and then headed to a rehearsal for Undertale: The Determination Symphony, which was a gig where we had a small orchestra that played a concert of music from the video game, Undertale, to a sold-out audience at the Factory (a music venue in Chesterfield, a suburb of St Louis.) It was a lot of fun, but a lot of playing. After the rehearsal, a few of us braved the wind and rain to walk to a nearby Mexican restaurant, and then we played the concert. It was a lot of fun, and went well.

They played a sort of movie based on the video game that went along with the music, and that’s me in the concertmaster spot. I had a few solos, nothing stressful thankfully!

What WAS stressful was waiting on the election results. Oh my goodness. Texas. South Carolina. Kansas. Michigan. So much better than I could have dreamed! Let’s hope for change: fighting corruption, working to help working families afford housing, groceries, and medical care. And fighting against bigotry, racism, sexism, etc. It was a decisive, generational victory, and shows that our country has a lot of work to do. But it also shows that this country is full of good people, and that campaigns running on racism and anti-trans bigotry are NOT the way to go, for many Americans.

We also defeated Amendment 3 here in Missouri, which was an anti-abortion amendment that supporters were using to hawk really nasty lies about trans people and children, and we DEFEATED it, defeated the abortion ban again, and showed as well (I think) that many people support trans people.

It’s hard to feel too celebratory, we remember how we were so thrilled to defeat Trump in 2020 and then it felt like 4 years later things got worse, but I think that many in power ALSO remember this and this feels different. Plus it was such a decisive, overwhelming victory, showing how the majority of voters are angry and fed up with what is going on, and we have to stop it. I know groups like Indivisible will keep working hard to make sure the democrats do what they can, and will keep working hard to let the democrats in power know what the people want. Let’s celebrate and let’s keep our politicians on speed dial.